Handling Difficult People - Be Prepared to Change Yourself

Dealing with difficult people can trigger a strong stress reaction in the brain. Often this leads us to want to avoid conflict, or to overreact and escalate the issues. In stressful situations, it's tempting to blame someone else who is being difficult. But very often the best way to handle difficult people starts with examining your own role in the situation. Your manner or actions may annoy others, which impacts their behavior with you.

• Start by examining yourself and ways you could be contributing to the problem.
• Question yourself: Do I find lots of people difficult? What sort? In what situations? Is there a pattern here? Am I overreacting or being defensive in some way? How is my behavior impacting others? What can I do to change?
• Explore your behavior patterns with a trusted friend/ co-worker.
• Ask whether you're avoiding responsibility for problems.
• Calmly and respectfully communicate your needs.
• Be prepared to change yourself .